My room mate and I have just come up with a basic, beginner’s guide to Russian, all spelt phonetically. This is it:

Goodbye [informal] / “pakah”
Do you speak English? / “vwe gavoriteh poh angliiski?”
No / “niet”
Yes / “da”
Hello [informal] / “priviet”
Thank you / “spasieba”
Please / “por ja loosta”.

Lesson number 2:

Table for 1 / “stolik na adnovor”
Beer / “pivor”
One / “adin”
Glass / “stakan”
One beer please / “stakan pivah por ja loosta”.

Good luck! (“ooh da chi!”)